Welcome To Neo's Bloggy

tired but can't sleep?

2009-06-30T00:32:00.002+08:00

today's work really stress me out... had a bad day, maybe is because of monday i doubt.. but its way too stress for me.. hope tomorrow will be a better day.

everything seems to be a pretty normal until i knock off from work and was chatting on the phone with my beloved one, heard her voice and tone is diff from usual, asked and found out she is having some small argue with the mummy, through out the conversation, knew she cried but not know what is the reason behind the story, asked and get to know nothing, tried to console her and asked to tell me whenever she feels better after that..

made ma way home via train, it's rainy day, with some wind, suddenly have a feeling like, i am alone walking in the rainy dark night, tiring, stressed.. and only thing in my mind = dear, took out the phone, made a call to her, she was having her dinner with the family, chatted for awhile and off the phone.. homed and maple again... all the way until 10+, walked out for some bee hoon but unfortunately it was closed for the day or rest for today not know.. let it be and actually not that hungry just want to find something to bite that's it..

and chatted while making my way home and bath, was about going to try some scrolling luck on the spear but well, end up with another day... can't really know what is happening on my baobei.. i am worried alone and i know i am tired, but nothing more can be done on my side, sitting in front of comp, surfing but nothing better to do, ended up i am here writing and updating my blog..

dear, i know you are facing hard time over there with the mummy, i understand your situation, i wanted to know, i wanted to be right beside you right now, have some talks with you, hug you tightly to sleep, and kiss on your forehead.. the only thing i can do now is hoping you can really have a peaceful mind and able to sleep well.. about me.. going to sleep soon after i voice out at here.. if can, i don't want to choose to be alone here.. if only... i have the money and strenght..

love ya dear,
from beloved neo.

-= 1 Month Togeher =-

2009-06-16T23:21:00.003+08:00

been quite some times since i update my blog, haha can't be bothered with maple, busy hunting, leveling, this and that.. well, was really stressed up about works for the past 2 weeks as well, really busy and non-stop... finally i no longer can face the strike and fall down with sick, but luckily manage to recover within 2 days.. being like 4 months never sick.. not bad huh haha or too weak already..

baaaaah, stop talking about work stuffs while i am home, making me sick of it lol.. ahhh ya, tomorrow will be a memorable day for me and my loved, apple.. its 1 month since we together, 17th of May. Here by, would like to borrow this chance to tell you, dear i am happy with you all the time, although there are some arguements or problems between us, as you said, hope we manage to overcome the problem and face it together, outcome with more understanding for both of us.

1 Month, still will have more to come, 2 3 4 5 6 7 ..... months, always hope time can pass as soon as possible and finally can stay with each other together, my wish for our first month is, dear, hope if you find out any of my pattern which you don't like, please talk it out with me, i try to improve, 2 persons should have the responsibility to maintain it.

To Myself for the 1st Month:
============================
- improvement needed as in, give in more into the relationship.
- trust ownself more.
- self-confidence must raise.
- feel so sorry, made her cried, just because not telling out how i felt on some incident.

dear, love u as always.

@ Work

2009-06-09T14:14:00.002+08:00

suddenly, have a feeling like want to write blog... luckily.. i still manage to see the photos while i really missing her at this moment.. i've done something which hurted my little girl.. she kept on telling me not to say sorry to her.. i know sorry is too late after all the things happened.. while looking back to those photos.. i know something, i love you, dear... i only can stares at the photos now.. hope all the unhappy things can pass fast and be happy for both of us..

be strong, cks...

Day 1 - 23-05-2009 (Klang + Timesquare + Pavilion + Lowyat)

2009-05-26T23:49:00.009+08:00

hehe, went to KL to visit dearie again 1 week after the previous trip, as usual need her to pick me up at puduraya in the midnight and drive home together.. don't know if she tired or not, but anyway we reached home safely.. don't really have enough sleep at all, guessed sleep like 3hours +-.. wake up in the morning around 9am and wash up, leave home around 10am to pick bao qi and the girl, there go the first destination - Klang(Bah Kut Teh), too bad not manage to take the photos before makan ><, so there is not much photos to share during the bah kut teh section..

after bah kut teh, drove home and took jacket and papaya <-- f3 hahaha, still remember i shouted, omg dear u ate the papaya, i tot you said bought 1 for me but you finished it without letting me to have a bite on it.. hahahahaha, and the lovely smile and said, don't worry, there is still another one upstairs inside the fridge, kakaka, and then bring alone vitagen,papaya and jacket, there go the second destination - TimeSquare.. Parked the car and bao qi and the girl went off first and left me and dearie inside the car to finish the papaya..

walk walk, see see, look look, dearie bring me to VIOR + SODA clothes shop to see her wedding dress which she is going to wear on cheryl and hooi's wedding on the coming 21th of June... yaya manage to ask dearie to take some photos in the fitting room although end up din manage to buy them, due to... not so nice? gonna show my pretty dear..

Dress No.1

Dress No.2

But at last din buy them ~.~ isn't look so sweet? =p ya i agreed so.. the next which is Gui Ling Gao already, hmm i guess dearie quite like or maybe just so so with the Gui Ling Gao, but well, we had that for RM9 inside the shop, which is nearest to the IMBI monorail station.. =p

Gui Ling Gao No.1

Gui Ling Gao No.2

Gui Ling Gao No.3

after that went to parkson and shopped for my G2000 polo T and belt, bought another polo T at the other shop as well, total spent around 200+ on it, haha first time shopping with dear and she gave me some comments on the clothes as well.. =p thanks dear for choosing the clothes with me together.. took some photos before we went in cinema for our 3rd show =p Angels and demons hehe...

"3rd Movie - Angels & Demons"

SOB, tio box-ed by dear T.T

Dear @ Pavillion Hall

Pizza & Almond Donut <33

I think i feel bad to dear because i fall asleep twice in the cinema when watching the show =p but seriously, i don't quite understand the starting part but after that slowly i get to know what is the movie trying to act, and i never fall asleep till the show end hor dear f3, kakakaka, just feel a little bit cold there because i can feel it from dear's leg, oh well, we had our Kenny Rogers as our dinner =p really very very very long never eat that le, and thanks dear for willing to taste again with me, we order the chicken set and 1 spagetti and 1 glass of 100Plus =p.. never forget that, dear's fav muffin ? =p

Look!! She smile while taking photo with her's Muffin~

Oh ya, the chicken set as well

and a tasty spegatti ya dear?

After the dinner, we drove him and once again, dearie fall asleep when we were on the way home, it was jammed badly right after we turned into bukit bintang street, and she sleep deeply beside me, was trying my best not to awake her, even i not sure with the road, but luckily, hahaha i manage to do it and letting my sweet heart sleeping peacefully right beside me, and we home at around 11:45pm.. i shall called it a day for both of us, because we are really tired and being outside for the whole day since morning until night, at last, really had a tight and sweet sleep while dearie is just right beside me, covered by my arm and sleeping soundly on my chest.. <3..

Day 4 - 17-05-2009 (YES & SG)

2009-05-25T23:26:00.002+08:00

Just like Day 3, sent dearie to Wangsa Maju LRT station for SoftSkill, nothing much to do the whole day, was really sleepy and kept on sleeping while alone in the room, with the music playing of course, and finally dearie is back from the softskill, was actually waiting for her call to pick her up at LRT station but surprisingly, she appeared in front of the house and shouted my name, i... rushed out the room and called... dearrrrrrrrrrr, why never ask me to pick up at LRT station, she said tank which is her friend sent her home, and we spent a little time in the room chatting with each other... and time is running out... knowing it can't be helped i've to leave her alone in KL for my job... was really sad about it...

had our dinner at near by, ate hokkien mee and she had pork noddle added on with a fried fish, loved it so much and i think dearie knows another one of my fav food at that time.. we had our dinner and drove off to PuduRaya for bus to go back to sg... and not to mention the most important thing.. finally, the date 17.05.2009 is the most memorable for both of us, she did it and she gave me the answer i was waiting for like months ago, which is a YES from her... i, speechless and hug her tightly and keep on questioning her the same question, is it real? i was thinking, am i dreaming in my heart... a few YES from dear and at last, i realize that i am not dreaming after all.. ya this is the one, 17.05.2009. Here begins our love story and wish it can be endless love for our entirely life... love you dear.

Day 3 - 16-05-2009 (Format & KTV)

2009-05-25T23:03:00.005+08:00

Morning wake up and send dearie to Wangsa Maju LRT station to take train to Asia Jaya for her NLP SoftSkill.. after that back to home and preparing the backup files for the notebook, it tooks me quite a long time to backup the files, went to Jusco to had my chicken fried rice (Malay) as my lunch and register Maybank ATM card for maybank2u.com online banking account.. Back to home tried but still unable to complete purchasing top-up online, it required Transaction Authorization Code(TAC) to complete, as in to register the mobile number in the ATM so able to receive TAC to proceed further..

Well, continue back up and finally done with the comp formatting but gotta upgrade all the windows security to prevent those nasty viruses/torjans to attack the system, yeah again took quite a long time while downloading, updating and installing all the security patches by Microsoft.. it's almost time for dearie to back from SoftSkill, miss her during the time shes not beside me, ahhh she is back and i keep looking at the clock on my handphone, countdown inside my heart... the time to see dear is getting nearer, feel excited and feel happy too..

while waiting for the updating, too bored and do some silly thing, which is write dear's chinese name on the A4 size paper, the paper was written full with the names, there is total 39rows times 11columes, haha, think i must be too bored or i am doing something and memorable for both of us.. well, picture do the talking..

"Dear's Chinese Name"

Yeah, finally dear is back from SoftSkill and we are planning to go Puchong Neway KTV to spend our night there with other friends, there are total of 10 peoples there included me and dearie, well, they are Bloom, Dennis, Danny, Joelyn, Lung and the GF, Ryan, Feihai, Me and Dearie.. was really having our fun inside the room and shouted like mad.. haha, photos time =D

"Dear @ KTV"

"Random Photo"

After KTV, and we went off earlier because dearie still have last softskill to attend tomorrow morning, guess it was quite late and did not expect it will be that late to reach home though.. we lost our way but at last, managed to get blom to guide us to the highway MRR2, after all, she was sleeping in the front passenger seat deeply, kept on reminding myself, don't wake her up and let her have a good rest and drive slowly to reach home safely.. at last, we home around 4am+ in the morning and sleep immediately after that due to overload for the whole day for both of us..

Day 2 - 15-05-2009 (Mid Valley & Sri Petaling)

2009-05-20T19:58:00.012+08:00

After the small genting, went home to have a nap and awake around 11am plus, get ready shower for both, head to puduraya to purchase the bus ticket back to sg, the data was fall on 17th 11PM, purposely buying latest trip so that can spend more time with dearie, and we went to Mid Valley to had our shopping + movie... parked the car and went down to the entrance which is nearest to the GSC entrance so that can buy the movie ticket first, we watch "X Man" on that day.. this is the second time had movie with dear, so took the movie ticket photo as memories..

"X Man's Movie Ticket"

Dearie with the McD Ice Cream

Shopping for awhile but never get to buy anything, walked pass a shop, it named "SweetChat Corner", decided to stop and eat something while waiting for the movie time, i ordered BBQ Chicken Burger and Kiwi Ice Blended or something like that, but it's in a bowl, something like ice kacang... abit sour and shared it with dearie, hope she likes it..

This is the KiWi Blended

Sweetie Dear VS KiWi Blended

The photo that dearie likes the most

The movie was nice, and i felt that my dear was cold and hide beside my arm and shoulder, luckily did bring the jacket along, else i think i really need to take off my shirt to cover the coldness? hahaha, can't imagine... and after movie, the first time having dinner at Kim Gary Restaurant with dearie, ordered baked chess rice and she ordered "Pai Kut Rice", and the drinks are, "Yuan Yang Coffee" and "Ice Lemon Tea."

The Baked Rice.

The Pai Kut Rice.

Our Drinks

After Kim Gary, went home wash up and rest awhile, and next destination will be paying a visit to her uncle which is located at Sri Petaling, visited around 1 hour plus and chatted with the uncle, really friendly and able to chat well with the uncle and aunty, until ah lung called up to chase, then only go meet them for yumchar section, on that night itself, there are blom, feihai, ah lung + gf + ryan + xiang zhong + me and dearie. total 8 of us, chatted for awhile and need to go home as dearie need to go for softskill on the next morning.. so decided to go back and sleep, thats it for the day <3 love ya dear for the day 2's program all day long.. =p

Day 1 - 14-05-2009 (Pasar Malam & Small Genting)

2009-05-19T20:40:00.021+08:00

hehe, went KL last week to pay a visit to my beloved dearie, and really had a great time out there, most importantly, would like to thanks her for being together with me with the answer "YES"... the something which i was waiting, hoping for and finally it appears and become truth and no longer a dream to me, thanks dear apple ng hooi ching.. <3

ahh ya, we went to pasar malam on the thursday night which fall on 14/05, hehe although it was raining on that night, but we still manage to walk a little and we had "Ban Mian" as our dinner =p sharing some photos below.

Hehe, my pretty dear aaaaaa

TAADAAAAA... The Ban Mian and the Meat Ball

Keke, having my Ban Mian while dearie capture my photo =p

After the Pasar Malam, went home and rest for awhile, and next destination will be the small genting... i know she was tired but she still insist wanted to bring me there... and yeah at least we have been there, but too bad, we were late a little bit and the drink shop named gasoline already closed for the last order... was kinda feel like, duh.. anyway, manage to see the night view of the KL from there.. took some photos with dearie at there too =p, our sweet memories that will stay in our mind forever and ever.. dear, thanks for bringing me to such a nice place and of coz with you keep company beside me.. its perfect scene to me... muacks..

Night View

Me & My Dear SnapShot 1

Me & My Dear SnapShot 2

busy busy busy~

2009-05-04T23:13:00.010+08:00

haaaaaaaaaa finally have the time to write blog, after for some times... guess ya... was really busy and tight with the schedule planned and end up not really followed what i've planned at first, at last, manage to complete a few and guess i done it quite well huh...

just sharing some photos and keep it inside my blog secretly within my own field... haaa first pic is of coz the sweetie with the toy hotdog was given to her as a present to wish her recover well.. talk less but picture comes first.. there you go..

dear, you look sweet here.. muacks.

the second and the thrid...

ling yi ge tian tang..

2009-04-24T23:37:00.002+08:00

missing dearie but knowning she have to study for tomorrow's exam or else jiu chan le... since morning was waiting for her to online until i can't wait i give her a call, was told that she is in the school and busy with something, so i quickly ended the call.. back to office and continue work... have something in mind... after lunch break, second call and knowing she just reached home but she sound tired or rather irritated by something, weather? person? pressure? unknown to me but i didn't asked much and ended call again..

advised her to take some rest as she sound tired and saying shes tired... until i finished work, was thinking want to give a thrid call, but i decided not to do so as i don't know what is she doing right now, might be sleeping, might be studying, might be chatting with mummy, and didn't received any miss call so i know i shouldn't make the 3rd call.. went to uncle house take phone bill and made the payment and bought my dinner home, switched on comp and hoping can see her online msn but... well... at last i made the 3rd call, she sounds so tired again and saying shes trying hard to study..

chatted less than 1 minute and hanged the call, since then, i was wondering am i disturbing, drag her time as she wanted to study or rest, so i decided to sms again, received a miss call after that, thinking wants to call back but at last i call and chat for awhile, asked her to go back study and she was having her dinner, as usual porridge... i continue my stuff and ya at last she signed in msn and we have a chat awhile, in my mind, i really wanted to chat and share my day with her but i clearly know she is running out of time, alot of things need to read through, memorise this and that...

chat for awhile and at last manage to get her to shut off the comp and continue back to study.. while i am packing my stuff here and there, kind of messy in my room as well... tomorrow will be a busy day... and yet i can't get to settle my internet issue as soon as possible, really don't know when only i can get back to online, gotta sign some document as the broadband operator said... have no idea when my internet will work again... so lets pray... hope everything goes smooth and able to get back my line before i back to hometown...

alright, continue packing again... on the other side, my dearie is resting right now, she asked me to awake her later on, but i plan to awake her around 2-3am or maybe 5am+, let her to sleep + rest more ba...

sore throat..

2009-04-22T22:49:00.002+08:00

this morning wake up and the throat is really not feeling well, when to wash up and prepare for work, on the way walk to mrt, bought a cane of tonic, drink around 3/4 and throw it already coz reached mrt station liao... after that reached company, really drink a lot of water.. but it still never feel better.. and the worst is having sore throat but still need to talk alot with the user on the line.. hate this but it's part of my job, gotta take it..

being chatting with dearie in msn, chat chat chat and don't know how chat about cig, i know smoke is no good, spend money also, if can i also want to take off, she doesn't like the smell or should i say she cares about my health, dearie, i promised i will try my best to take it off, for me or for you, it's still a good thing.. in the future, if really let mama knows about i am a smoker, my reputation will surely drop and somehow i scare she will disagree or reject me as qing's partner in the future maybe.. so i will do it now..

previously i think i has been kept on escaping from this problem but yet this is the right time for me to really look into it already, been smoked for like 5 years.. whats a big deal to take it off as i have been doing it for 5 years.. knowing it's very hard to cut off, but trust me, i will do it one day but i myself don't know when will the date come, suffer now rather then i suffer in the future, think of dearie, trying to make a miracle out from myself.. i am sure that my mum will be happier if she really knows i quit it successfully..

oh well.. give me sometimes, i will not escape this time.. promised... and beliving the miracle will happen between me and qing too... if only... i can be your boyfriend and husband to be =p... ohhhhhh i have gone too far... but just sharing whats in my heart though... she is entertaining cousins right now, knowing she is busy busy and need to pack for tomorrow's stuff prepare to go back kl with mummy... hope she is fine and don't overload herself.. take care ya my little gal.. muax

tuesday =/

2009-04-21T22:41:00.002+08:00

haaaaa, second of working day... kinda tired but still need to work.. somehow just hate this job but no choice.... everyday counting how many days i stay in this company and how long more to go.... sg life... not suitable for me =/ maybe my heart is no longer here anymore that's why i have that kind of feeling.. waiting for time to pass..

midnight woke up but don't see any miss call, knowing her needs to rest more and inconvinence to talk on phone.. so i gone back to sleep, recently will auto awake 2-3 times during my sleeping time, dunno why and whenever i wake, first thing is to look at my handphone, see is there any miss call or rather sms.. it's okay, she needs to rest more i believe.. it's better for the brain as well as wound.. kinda worried this morning as i knew she will be going to hospital to clear the dirts out from the wonds, at last she is fine and managed to clear it, so i am okay after that..

today is tuesday, saturday moving house.. left 4 more days and same to her saturday she will be having the first paper exam, hope she can cope with it although the time is really not enough for her, time will pass, what should be done need to be done as well, just hope everything is smooth on her side and same to me.. today is the 5th day of the incident, 17th of April... will remember this date that my dear injured badly.. she told me sometimes she will accidentally review back that day's scene, guess it gonna follow her for sometimes... it takes time to heal the wound and tak time to erase the bad memories too...

stay healthy and live peacefully, my lovely dear hooiching..

hmmm..

2009-04-20T00:15:00.002+08:00

i am back to sg again for tomorrow's work, how i hope that i can escape from work and continue taking care of my dear... but somehow... i just need to face the fact that i have to come back due to work... i have been worried, sleepless for the past few days.. i was thinking whats more i am able to help to ease her for everything, not to pretend but is truthly from my bottom heart, i can tell this clearly, the power of loves?

finally, she is willing to follow her mother to back to butterworth to rest and let the mummy taking care of her, i feel better in such way because i am sure the mummy will really take a super duper good care for the daughter, i know she loves her so and so on.. the power of mummy's loves to the child.. i am still unable to feel that because i don't have any child at the moment.. =p past few days, luckily i have balloon and feihai keep me accompany so that i never feel helpless and weak.. will also remember it forever... bros forever...

at last, what i really wish here, i hope that she can recover as soon as possible and there is still have a lot of problems, things waiting for her to settle, face out there... thus, please take a good care... let the wound heals and learn how to let go the unhappy things, scary scenes.. really wanted to hug and story with her alot of things, but sadly to say... the time is not that mature yet, i will not care on how the henry's words to the mummy because from what i feel, mummy knows the best on everything.. once again, i respect you more mummy..

alright, time to bed, will continue but dont know when.. hope she sleeps well throughout the night and please don't sleep on the wound, i can feel it's so much painful... be strong girl, i love you always.. nites.

dear....

2009-04-18T05:51:00.002+08:00

dear... sorry i still cannot get to sleep at this moment, i know i am tired, i know i need to rest well... to have enough energy to take care of you... i know i need to be strong to accept it... but i just feel heartache that why on earth this kind of bad thing happened on you... i am so speechless... in the same time, blom and feihai they all already piggy and dunno gone to which part le...

i tried to sleep, but i really cannot sleep... my mind full of you.. i dunno what can i do to make you feel better, don't feel pain, thinking that you still need to take the exam paper on 25,30 and may 12, i really worried about your health status, whether you can overcome all the trouble... i feel unsafe for you to continue staying there... if can... go back to penang with mama... let mama take care of you.. let mama stay aside you... rest well and safe at home is the best choice for you...

i.... love you...

心情

2009-01-15T20:44:00.003+08:00

十五号一月

今天的心情很糟，所以又再一次的逃离到我的避风港，很多时候我每次都想得过且过，可是这次我真的不能忍受那种折磨了，我想找人聊聊，又有谁能了解我呢？我的心不由自主地想起了她，她会了解我吗？我的心里面有很多个问号，我有很多东西想不通。我只是想逃避，每次遇到难题的时候我都会选择逃避，为什么会这样？为什么。。。。。是因为我太固执了吗？我太萎缩了吗？我没勇气去解决难题吗？我没有能力去面对他们，我不知道该怎么好，我太没用了。。。。

dream about her..

2008-10-02T20:01:00.002+08:00

today before i was awake.. i was having a sweet dream with her... we talked on the phone.. and i just remembered i said " i love you" to her... she smile over the phone... lmao and then i got wake up by my phone alarm.. when i wake up realize that its just a dream... i feel sad lol... hope it's true but haha i am just being silly...

went to work as usual today... ying the mother was not around for today and tomorrow, she is on leave for this coming 2 days... feel unsafe when she is not around because she is the one who teaching , guiding me all the while... then when she is not around, today happened there is a case, and the indian lady ask me to do but i don't really have any idea how to do it, and i told her i don't know how to do it... she said "you don't know also must do", as if i never work....

i just feel she is looking down on me, i just wanna learn all of the things and settle all the cases on my own... don't feel like wanna let other ppl look down on me... tomorrow will be another day mother ying is not around... hope tomorrow will be better day for me, it's friday anyway... can rest for 2 days no need to go for work...

this coming weekends i think i am dying.... ben and the other horntail batch members going to genting for holiday... i never go with them as i don't find it i will have alot of funs with them... as i don't really talk much with them... just feel don't wanna go den just won't go although ben keep asking me to come along with him... but i rejected him...

wondering how am i gonna pass my weekends this time... sure is boredddddddddddddddddd... and emooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo...

i am still missing her, when think about her my heart is still pain... i miss her every night.... just like the song... 虽然我愿意....

sick...

2008-09-28T21:53:00.000+08:00

wondering why the emo feeling just can't get rid from me.... i really hate to being emo... i want to forget everything.................. i want to forget about her.................... the most i want to forget her the most i miss her................ why why why..... she wants to treat me like this......... why.... i can't find any answer...... yet....

i am sick.... i am useless....

FUCKING EMO...

7th day of work.

2008-09-26T20:47:00.002+08:00

today i finally log some cases myself under my name and did tried to call some customer to update some status.. the time pass kinda fast and finish work @ 5:30pm.. but still in between will suddenly think of her and will get emo for awhile and then go back to work again...

packed dinner home and eat alone.. was playing maple... nothing much to do so might as well go in hit hit play play.. so won't be thinking of her most of the time.. until uncle tainted called me... he asked me where am i, i replied i am home alone, after that he ask again.. why never go out find yanny... i stunted... i don't really know how to answer him.. just said no and change to the other topic..

he talked to me about his maple thingy and talked about ben regarding the claw, items he bought using SGD... he said it's kinda silly to spend so much into game.. but what to do.. already advised him but he still insist want to go for it... so final decision is still up to him and yu er.. well.. he is quite happy with the things that he spent on.. no doubt i feel happy too... but if i were him, i am not gonna spend so much into this game due to lots of bad experienced i encountered into this game...

well.. emo day still.. hope can really get rid of this emo thingy and back to my normal life... in the bottom of my heart... i know it's impossible for me to recover sooner or later... but i just wish to forget or wipe everything about her... in the other hand... i really feel pain doing so... was wondering how long i actually need to take to recover... seems like..... its gonna be long... well.. time to bath..

that's all for today and today is friday, not working tomorrow so can sleep a little late.. :(

6th day of work.

2008-09-25T19:58:00.002+08:00

as usual woke up @ 6.30am to prepare and go for work, don't really sleep well yesterday... coz something is already cleared... really super duper sad.... finally.. me and her can put a FULL STOP on it... we are finished, game over or whatsoever..

we had a talk on our problems.. realize that she has been endure for quite some times but she don't really give me hint to let me know that she is really serious about it although quite some times ago she did but... she is really a sweetie to me.. sometimes when i encounter problems she is always there to talk me out, helping me to solve the problem..

but... i think it's kinda pointless to continue telling the story between me and her right now.. i am just really feels heart pain to the death... really missing her like hell... whenever i think of her, knowing that i no longer can hold her hand, hug her, kiss her... no longer can call her dear... talk to her.. cheer her... accompany her... listen to her... go to her place... spending time with her... telling her my problems... i............ am.............. really.............. SADDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD....

in my mind, i already set her as my future wife, no one can replace her at the moment... but why... she choose to leave me instead of giving me more chances to try out.... just one incident... and she choose to give up on this relationship... to her i don't know... but to me... i can't really give up as easy as words.... she is still deep inside my heart... for the time being... i can't really tell anyone how i feel... i can't really talk to her... whenever i think that.... it's like the end of the world, should die better than torturing me in this way....

shall end here and back to emo mode... i hope she can be happy... and to me myself... none of the decision is made so far... thinking of it... guess really need quite a long long long time to heal the wound... i ain't joking around... but... since she already decided and talk clear enough... i have no choice but to let her go off... maybe she is right now happy with other ppl, just never give a damn on me anymore...

emo....

3rd day of work.

2008-09-22T19:50:00.003+08:00

this morning woke up at 6:20am, never sleep well at all, keep waking up to see my phone to see whether i received any sms from her. but too bad don't have. wake up and brush teeth after awhile get bath and prepare to go for work, was at downstairs having my breakfast and sms with yan. just a normal greeting and so on. after a few sms and we stopped sms and i walked to mrt station to take train to work.

today is my 3rd working day and it's quite boring to go through with some history of the company and things that i should know before i really start taking in calls. some step to follow, how to log case, update case and close the case, person to contact, how to talk to user so on.. after lunch when ying ying was breafing me, and suddenly i fall asleep and lying on the chair, after like 2-3 minutes and i woke up and ying ying spoke to me... you need some coffee or not ? meaning to keep me awake or something while listening to her.. she is very nice.. :)

and then the other colleague offer me a pack of coffee and i went to pantry and make it and drink it on the spot, after that i went back to office and continue listen to ying ying's story.. oh gosh i feel so sleepy that time but what to do, i have to know things before hands.. so i gotta bear with it lo.. after awhile she starts to get busy with calls and emails, so we ended the section and she continue busy with her work stuff.. was doing nothing there but just seeing what she is doing there.

really miss yan and wanted to sms her but think back.. i promised not to contact her or shall i say disturb her in this period of time until she gets everything done and get back to me.. and i dunno why... i feel that i am going to lose her, some how when i think back the old days when i was with her, she is really sweet and caring gf to me... read back the sms before the incident happen... almost have a feeling wanna give her a call but... what is done, is done.. in the end i never call her and act cool..

and now i am at home, finished work and took mrt to home , packed dinner home too, while having my dinner, was browsing through the webby, hotmail, friendster kind of website... viewed her profile and having my dinner, suddenly don't really feel wanna finish my dinner or rather should i say... after viewing her photos... i realize that i miss her badly and couldn't swallow any more rice anymore... so i throwed the half pack of dinner...

really do hope she will sms me and says will be with me still and no matter what... but think now i regret also kinda useless... i am the one who neglect her, i am the one who never give lots of attention to her, i am the one who made this happen, i am the one who is keep avoiding the problems when she is trying to solve with me. i am the SUX one i believe.. alright i shall end here and go emo.

keep it update tomorrow.

long time never blog.

2008-09-21T17:35:00.003+08:00

its back quite long ago since i update my blog. and now i am back again. i know myself clearly.. when i am emo and i have no one, place to release.. i am always back to my own blog and tell all the things here.. this time no doubt i am emo and sitting in front of the comp and typing alone.. b4 i start, i am going to smoke first..

and now i am back once again from smoke. sitting in front of the comp continue typing my story. let me start the ball rolling now then.

June 30th is the date we start our love story.. and till today Sept 21. total of 83 days we being together since then. all along i tot i am a caring, good boy friend to her. but until today.. i realize that i am not one actually. really never think this kind of thing will happen on me today... yes i know i have a very bad temper, a little bit then i will emo here and there.. think this is my weak point ba..

today.. she totally sent 2 sms to me. the first one is..
"I think.. We need sometime to cool down.. Y not we give ourselves a few days.. Sort our mind out.. Will contact you when i'm ready.. Sorry"

Second sms will be.
"Done nothing wrong. but i need to think thru whether we really suits each other, really able to accept each other's life style.. Temper.. way of doing things."

and then i got no more sms from her. maybe till a couple of days then i will get sms from her i guess.. and the out come is still unknown yet..

i can tell, my heart is reall bleeding at this moment and i have no one with me... sis went to bf house and i can't get any advise from her.. and i also know she has bf and will be spending most of her time with the bf.. and as for me... well... i have no one but blog.. to say things out.. to make it a story.. to..... sort my feelings here..

and now i realize that love one person is never enough... something must be done too... yeah maybe she thinks that i don't suits her ba.. but... i already set her as my future wife and i never think of this kind of shit will happen to us.. love is never enough...

i miss you.

Happy.

2008-06-11T00:34:00.000+08:00

few days never blog :X, saturday night went krislan over night with ben and yanny, i know it clearly she will go krislan is totally because of me, she wants to accompany me more before i am off from sg... i really appreciate what she is trying to do :D..

Monday : went out with her again, we went to have a movie : Sex And The City, the story line is good but to me its more into girls' movie lol, not bad still but i almost fall asleep in the cinema due to lack of sleep, and i know she is tired enough just to pei me out to watch that movie, after that we went to bugis to had dinner and hang out at MCD to have a deep chat with her, about my personal stuff. :) and then we back home via train.

Tuesday which is today, woke around 1pm. Got her 2 sms and 1 sms from sis, hehe i am so in love to see her sms when i am awake, really touched lol, but at last i went out again with her, we met at city hall and have a walk with her, den we have some drinks at coffee bean... and walk around chat around, she brings me to the seaside, which i really amazed by the view, sitting beside the sea and listening to the song, and the happiest is she is just right beside me, we are so close but have a feeling that i just can't hold her for long... we took some picture together which i going to keep it forever :) yaya finally i got photo which i take together with her le...

ben called me and says he is coming to city hall to meet us too, so we hang around that place till ben informed us he is at newton, so we started to walk towards to mrt station, on the way, we were just joking and playing around, i really appreciate she give way alot today by letting me to hold her hand for a few days, we were really look like couple but i know it will become a dream soon... yeah i admit i really love being together with her, i really found that i am so ME when i am be with her, she listens, she cares, she knows and she is so cheering when i am down..

we hang out awhile with ben and waited for his gf to finish work and we had a chat @ starbucks this time... and after that we go home together but different direction.. and i reached mrt station and i go get my dinner and come home and now i am sitting in front of the comp and updating my blog, tomorrow still have to wake up early to go krislan for horned tail batch,. have to meet @ 1130am, sis coming back in the morning and she said she is going to buy breakfast for me. Need to sleep soon, kinda tired today but really have a lot of funs with her, i love you yan. Muacks.

-end-

Special Day.

2008-06-07T01:47:00.002+08:00

woke up around 12pm today, first thing to do is look at the phone, surprisingly i got sms from her, she asked me not to worry she just felt asleep. So do i believe in her words, and get 2 sms from ben, he keep asking me about the outing between me and mao, did i do something towards her or something, from this point, i can say that he is kinda bored and kinda busy body about me and more, but from the other point of view, maybe he is caring about my relationship ba.. so be it i told him i din do anything to mao.

was sms-ing with her in the noon time, and after her lunch time she had to busy with the work and i stopped smsing with her. And as usual i will do some surfing and go into maple to find petpetto to chat, after that i took a nap and when i woke up realize that it's already around 7pm, so i woke up and i tried to call her, but she never pick up, i started to think a lot again. went down to buy my dinner, 4 pieces of bread and 1 pack of milo ice as my dinner. after i had my dinner i walked to westmall to change money again, omfg the rate is rather low, RM900 i only exchanged with $369, after that i went to Giordano and bought the shirt for feihai, when i am ready to pay the salesman told me if buying 2 can have 30% discount else buying once wont have any discount, so i bought 2, 1 for feihai and 1 for me.

Total i bought 4, that day bought 3 and today bought 1, so its still ok since i very long never buy new shirt for myself. oh yeah, when on the way walking to westmall, i am so happy that she called me and had a 8mins long chat on the phone, i can hear that her voice is so down and unlike the normal voice that i usually hear from the real HER, have a lil xin tong when hearing the sound like that. when i am on the way back home, i called her again to make sure she is doing well or something, and ask her to meet online if only she is able to, in the end she came online haha... :D

Had a deeply chat with her just now, and we speak out every single problem, but in the end she said her answer will still remain the same, as expected i never ask for more, i just want to let her know what am i thinking and how i feel for her, thats all i want to let her know just now. she is not ready for the relationship yet, she doesn't want to feel the pain anymore, she wants me to do the things that i like, she is so caring and sweet when i am with her, i hope to be like this forever and ever.. In the other hand i am a bit worried about my life, my future... i am still thinking what should i really do now, the life with her and the life without her..

Nevermind, when the time comes, automatically will have solution for it, so i am hoping that tomorrow she can meet me b4 we go to kallang to meet with uncle and ben. but some how i have a feeling that she might not be able to meet me during the noon time, my mind keep telling me that, she will not be free during the noon time because she has meeting with her boss and so on... what can i do is just sleep and wake up and wait for her sms or call. really hope that can spend more time with her when i am still around sg... i will be going back next week properly, no matter whats the result from yan, i will still have to go back to malaysia, to reach my maple target and after that only plan what should i do.

thinking is she sleeping yet, feel like calling her, want to know what is she doing right now, missing her voice... its about the time to emo and sleep. :(

None-

2008-06-06T01:39:00.000+08:00

woke up at 11 plus today and slept at 4am yesterday, kinda tired when wake up, having flu as usual, woke and do some surfing in front of computer, nothing better to do, this morning i received sms from uncle and blom, but too bad what i really wanted the person to sms ended up never sms me, anyway thanks to uncle and blom for da birthday wishes.

went out around 515pm to take train to go somerset to meet mao, went to swensen to had dinner with her and have a long chat with her about my malaysia life, and after the dinner we went to cineleisure plan to catch a movie, so we walked from around paragon area all the way to cineleisure, after discussing with mao and our final result goes to Iron Man and buy the ticket but its @ 930pm, but that time only around 8pm, so we went to HMV some where near around orchard road and have some walk there after that to takashimaya and have some walk there too, when times reach we just walk to cineleisure to enter the cinema hall and waiting for the show to start.

Iron Man, no doubt its a nice show but i feel that its not the perfect yet, i know something is missing and i know what is that, the show started at 930pm and ended around 1130pm, when we both walk down to the building, its around 1140pm already, mao told me no more train le, so we just sit aside and smoke b4 we say bye bye to each other and i cabbed to home, but doesn't matter its my birthday. ^^

oh yeah, i really was waiting for her sms the whole day but too bad she sms-ed me around 8+pm, its all too late ba.. when i on the way back home, was sms-ing with her inside the cab, but after a few sms she stopped replying me, especially after i told that i was with mao together having dinner and movie. Which made me kinda worried, and then i got home, i tried to call her but she never pick up the phone, and i sms her then she reply... i tried to call again, its the same result she never pick up the call again. I really wanted to know whats the problem shes having right now, but she never pick up the call and never reply my sms..

yeah i miss her a lot today but.... it just can't be helped any more, she is avoiding me more and more, day by day.. i hope she can listen to me what i am trying to tell her.... sis is piggy behind of me, today she worked late and got home around 1230am, pity her to have such a work life.. hope she can get a better work life next time.. and about me, i have no any conclusion or decision yet so far, see 1 step walk 1 step ba.. from the bottom of my heart... D:

22nd Birthday.

2008-06-05T02:17:00.000+08:00

after so long, i am back to this blog again, and just nice today is my 22nd birthday, i cant fall asleep, my right eye pain and i keep rubbing it...

well, i went to yishun find ben and his gf to have a chat and drink there, i was bored the whole day never go any place other than help sis to pay starhub and M1 bills, i was at home. Having dinner alone at home due to sis today went to bugis and register her course and having great time with her bf. I really have nothing better to do until ben sms-ed me to ask me out for a drink. So i went out.

during the tea time, he don't seems to know right after 12am is my 22nd birthday until yanny called him up, i was kinda jealous when i know yanny called him, but i know i am helpless, ben went off and talk with yanny and i don't know what are they talking about, what i can do is just sitting there and wait for ben to come back, and i really want to know what they talked about but at last i never ask. He suddenly put a box of cig in front of me and said, happy birthday bro. I was quite surprise that he did that.

He's the first person who greats me for me 22nd birthday although i know actually he forgot about it, but i never angry with him at all, at least i have a pack of cig as me first persent, thanks bro. I was thinking if she is the first one who greats me and right beside of me giving me a hug or kiss, that would be the greatest present i received ever during my 22nd birthday. Ben woke me from the dream and realization that its kinda impossible to happen that time, so i just put it aside and talks with ben and the gf.

Until i am on the way to home in the train, finally i got the birthday wishes from her.. Its just as simple as "Happy Birthday" ... i was kinda upset by seeing that sms, and i did reply her and thanks her for greating me. My mind was a lil messy at that time i keep thinking of her, and in the end i emo again.... i really miss her and i want to be with her although theres still a lot of problems surrounded by me. but at that moment, i really hope she will be right beside me and accompany to pass my 22nd birthday... but realization brings me back to where i am belongs to..

Finally i am home but still i am emo, sis was asleep at that time, i was listening to radio and emo-ing and i know i can't stop thinking of her any more.. i regret myself to let go the chance earlier on, but what past is past, i have to accept the fact and do the best.. dark in the night, i can't fall asleep and suddenly recall of my blog, so i come here once again to post the sound from the bottom of my heart.. i hope this is enough.... and i still can't fall asleep... i am emo.... sis is sleeping, fan is turning... modem is blinking... i am typing... my tears drop...

i miss u.

王心凌 - 那年夏天宁静的海

2007-07-08T02:39:00.000+08:00

那时我们天天在一起
太幸福到不需要距离
很贪心要全世界注意
只是太年轻
快乐和伤心
都像在演戏
一碰就惊天动地
今天看你
昨天的你去了哪里
那年夏天我和你躲在
这一大片宁静的海
直到后来我们都还在
对这个世界充满期待
今年冬天你已经不在
我的心空出了一块
很高兴遇见你
让我终究明白
回忆你真是精彩
还记得一起努力
还有那些一言为定
现在我就当过去是种学习
虽然好不容易

hmm

2007-06-18T19:31:00.000+08:00

few days never update bloggy, feel lazy to do it recently or rather i siao game again.. have been playing maple hard for the past few days, haha really siao again, saturday night went out to meet uncle, ben, kev n simon at kallang to have dinner and chit chat, after that rain heavily can't catch the last train me & ben stopped at somerset mrt station to overnight there..

it was fun there because we have a free movie from mao, she gave us the ticket and we go in to watch fantasy 4 haha.. quite nice i give 3.5 out of 5, thanks ah mao for the movie too.. me n ben wait for the first train to come and we stopped at yishun to have breakfast, his girlfriend was there too, feel so jealous haha but... what to do.. can't do anything just finish my food fast and get home to sleep, when i reach mrt it started to rain again so the rain drops accompany me walk home lol.. not bad la still ok not that wet and luckily never catch cold tho...

today is monday and is first day of the week, tiring think gonna sleep early soon... my mind very messy again... hui and mao... haih...

Surprise

2007-06-14T12:35:00.000+08:00

surprisingly, XD she called me from redang yesterday, really shock haha, yesterday i was out with friend, wei jie, yanny n benny, at first is me yan n weijie nia but ben come after, we had dinner at McD, and we chit chat awhile because i think quite long we never come out chit chat liao.. haha.. after ben come we went to snake's coffee shop but never drink just chit chat there and smoke after that take train go home liao..

dunno what is hui doing at redang now leh, still haven get her sms think she is having fun over there but also good la can release stress after exams.. hope she is doing well over there.. waiting for her sms in the same time also, was playing dota with feihai, cm n bloom just now, then hmm something happened but just don't wish to mention maybe i too sensitive or something awhile more should be okay with it.. chatting with feihai now and sent him some song, haha he talked about oren again -_-..

The second time...

2007-06-12T09:56:00.000+08:00

the second time i keep repeating the song agian, hurt so bad by zhang jing xuan, lol.. i think this song is a very nice song to listen when some one got hurt.. nice wee.. yesterday never go to work coz stomachache, took 1 day mc thought can rest but in the end playing maple the whole day lol, and at last never eat the medicine doctor gave it to me.. pro hor..

today back to work but very tired feel sleepy, luckily today don't have a lot of task for me to follow up, maybe due to school holiday thats why i am so relaxing ba, i really can't imagine when the school reopen, those ma fan teachers come to me ask me to do this n that, i really don't wish to work here any more but what to do.. have to complete 1 year so that i have 1 year experience, and i work for like 4 months and 20 days only until now, dunno when only can reach 1 year, properly when my dad's business start i think i gonna back to hometown liao ba...

don't really like the life over here, work work work... hate it..

因为喜欢你

2007-06-10T23:31:00.000+08:00

因为喜欢你，才和你有话题聊
因为喜欢你，才可以天天发短讯
因为喜欢你，才愿意接通你的电话
因为喜欢你，才会在乎你的事情
因为喜欢你，才会把心事告诉你
因为喜欢你，才会对你讲道理
也因为喜欢你，才会接受你
但也因为只是喜欢你，才没办法再继续下去

因为喜欢你，才会担心你
因为喜欢你，才不愿看你难过
因为喜欢你，才会心疼你
看你这样，自己也不会好过
如果我的不存在会让你好过些，
只要你说一声，那我就不再打扰你

no matter what... i will never give up.

lol....

2007-06-10T15:44:00.000+08:00

finally i really awake and realize that she only treats me as brother and won't be treating me as a boy friend, i have no where to run/hide i have to accept the fact she dosen't have the feelings towards me, i have nothing to say... i don't know what to say also... what can i do... this song is very good... i think...

我放手我让座假洒脱
谁懂我多么不舍得

太爱了所以我
没有哭没有说

END.

New Speaker..

2007-06-09T14:11:00.004+08:00

yesterday after work went to funan with colleague to buy the speaker that i want, its altec lansing MX5021, quite good the sound quality but i just can't get the philips external sound card over there, but i think now is good enough liao the sound quality. spend 215 on the speaker but i have 180 voucher for it so top up 35 for it, and the speaker is too heavy to in the end take cab back to home.

woke up at 8 something this morning, nothing to do went in maple and saw she leveled, i get shocked that she must be playing quite long after i gone to sleep, hmm but since shes on holiday so think is ok for her to play till so late, met her online around 1130+ and trying to ask her what she doing this and that but.... lol.. don't wish to mention again..

today is saturday and its a bored saturday, really nothing better to do.. went in maple.. do nothing.. alone, luckily met yan and walk around with her else i gonna die..

你那么爱她

2007-06-08T12:31:00.000+08:00

直到爱消失你才懂得去珍惜身边每个
美好风景只是她早已离去
直到你想通她早已经不再对你留恋
最后的你开始了一段挣扎

你那么爱她
为甚么不把她留下为甚么不说心里话
你深爱她这是每个人都知道啊

你那么爱她
为甚么不把她留下是不是你有深爱的两个她
所以你不想再让自己无法自拔

直到爱消失你才懂得去珍惜身边每个
美好风景只是她早已离去
直到你想通她早已经不再对你留恋
最后的你开始了一段挣扎

你那么爱她
为甚么不把她留下为甚么不说心里话
你深爱她这是每个人都知道啊

你那么爱她
为甚么不把她留下是不是你有深爱的两个她
所以你不想再让自己无法自拔

你那么爱她
为甚么不把她留下为甚么不说心里话
你深爱她这是每个人都知道啊

你那么爱她
为甚么不把她留下是不是你有深爱的两个她
所以你不想再让自己无法自拔

Oops, Yesterday Forgot to Blog -.-

2007-06-07T09:09:00.000+08:00

good morning, yesterday i slept at 9pm++ lol finally i cant take it any more and sleep at 9pm+, coz past few days i sleep late almost like 12am every day and woke at 6am, it just 6 hours for me to sleep surely is not enough for me haha.. tot after sleep many hours i can have a better mood but.. sadly my throat is pain.. lol what the hell man may the all those bad things stay far away from me and don't ever think come near to me lmao.. but.. ren ming ba..

yesterday was surprising she sms me b4 she went out, long time she never did that and at first i thought i won't be getting the sms any more from her =/, oh yeah just hope my throat get recovery soon coz i really hate it, already drink a lot of water but still, hmm maybe should have cut down cig from now on.. =>

see ya around, working days = sien & tired.

21st Birthday..

2007-06-05T17:47:00.000+08:00

finally long awaiting 21st birthday is here.. surprisingly i have no special feelings for it, not even excited nor happy though.. wonder what is happening to myself, thinking back the old days, i have done a lot a lot of things some right some wrong.. any way should pass it with smileeeeee, that's the new thing that i have learn from klang => special thanks to hui and the rest..

just got home from school, its rather tiring feel want to take a good rest but my mind just stop me for no reasons, waiting for her to get back to me since morning until now, just like what i said pass it with smile, outside is smiling but inside my heart is crying, can cheat peoples but i know i no longer than cheat myself.. what to do.. always the same question appears in my mind, ren ming ba..

today feihai post comments to me, thats the only thing i really smile from the bottom of my heart, he made me recall back what we have done together when we were still secondary school days, feihai & bloom can say is the most understand what i want and they will be there to support me whenever i am down, so glad to have such a close buddies, appreciate it.

maybe i am emo now or maybe i am not........

-So Near Yet So Far Away-

2007-06-04T22:04:00.000+08:00

hmm.. today after work come back home straight stick in front of comp as usual, don't know why today my stomach a bit wired , its like pain for few minutes then it stops and a few moment later the pain is back again... maybe something is wrong inside.. wait for few days see how it goes if its still like that think need to have a body check up.. just hope nothing is inside my stomach and just pure pain only lo...

today i very emotional in the afternoon and evening, haha emo emo emo emo.. i don't wanna be one of the emo person... but sometimes it just can't be helped.. just like what she said, when a person is too free will start to think many many many and think you de mei de.. haha... i am like that and its me.. think too much..

yaya today sister bought me half chicken rice and a cake for me to celebrate my 21st birthday.. so nice to have a sister like that XD, she asked me want to have a cake for tonight but i rejected haha who knows in the end she back with a cake and rice XD.. hehe.. but after i ate the half chicken rice i am still full, think the cake tomorrow then eat gua.. put inside fridge le hope it won't ruin the taste of the cake gua.. but fat liao lo... cham need to slim down.. T_T

chatting with her now and after that will go to sleep liao gua..

Up & Down.

2007-06-04T15:26:00.000+08:00

Today is my first day back to work after taking 2 days leave + 1 public holiday + weekends. Now is school holidays so not much students in the schools as well as teachers, but still have some task yet to complete. I am still awaiting for the time to go back home as monday is always that tired...

Yesterday was trying hard enough to get to sleep because something was inside my mind and i really couldn't get any solution till now.. i know that will be hard to some one to accept the one that he/she dosen't have the feelings at all.. but hmm.. i can be very da fang de say "shun qi zhi ran" but actually whats in my mind is... "never let u go" haha.. maybe i am selfish but hmm i am just trying to hold some one that i really have the feelings..

lol what the cks... what r u doing here... piece of shit..

brb

WooHoo..

2007-06-03T21:43:00.000+08:00

Yo.. I am back to blog.. haha.. this blog was created by me since june 2006, and the reason why i am back to this blog is because i have nothing better to do and it actually a good place for me to release my feelings, maybe i am wrong but at least it helps bit bit zai..

i am getting used to it for my life at sg, monday to friday is working day and saturday, sunday will be staying at home for online-gaming.. nothing much i can do where since i got no car, feel like going out but when think of need to take bus, mrt already sien 1/2..

i just back from KL to sg today, experienced a lot of things when i was at klang, the one who knock my mind and the one willing to tell about me from the bottom of her heart, really appreciate she talked about that to me that night will be stored inside my mind forever.. XD its very good to have a partner like her.. hope this r/s will last longer lo...

oh yeah another thing is yesterday my dad talked to me about his business, at first i ask my mum about going to oversea to continue my study life over aus as i can stay with her can have more time to spend with each other, mum asked me to talk to dad but actually is if my mum say okay my dad won't make any changes hahahaha, but sad enough is, dad asked me to go back hometown to continue his business, he said he getting old and the business got nobody else to continue.. mum n sis agreed with that too... but what i want isn't always what i get.. will see how it goes later on.. most properly dad's business starts around September or October..

aihhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh just hope every thing is under my control and it will be nice XD..

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